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Ask the Etiquette Expert

Etiquette Expert Diane Gottsman answers your most pressing etiquette and modern manners questions on this page. We take all etiquette questions into consideration, but due to volume not all questions can be addressed. Simply fill out the contact form and we’ll do our very best to answer it here for you.

Productive Back to the Office Morning Routines

April 8th, 2021 by

Dear Diane, It’s been a “long hard minute” since I have seen the inside of my office and in a…

The Downside to Working From Bed

March 17th, 2021 by

Dear Diane, I have been working from home for the past eight months and I feel as if I have…

How to Talk to Your Partner About Money

March 3rd, 2021 by

Dear Diane, My fiancé and I have been engaged for two years and we are now planning our wedding—and money…

Keep Your College Skills Sharp

June 5th, 2020 by

I am on summer break from college, and after a semester of online training due to COVID-19, I fear I am going to lose some of my edge…

Canceling Your Wedding Q&A’s

April 6th, 2020 by

What is the first thing I should do if I need to cancel our wedding? Consult your wedding planner and let them navigate…

8 Steps For Working from Home

March 30th, 2020 by

Due to the coronavirus pandemic, all of my friends and I have found ourselves working from home…

Avoid Loneliness While Social Distancing

March 23rd, 2020 by

Do you have any ideas for avoiding loneliness while I am social distancing?…

Email Etiquette: Using Titles and Designations

March 6th, 2020 by

Dear Diane, Questions have come up around the designations in my email signature from time to time and I am…

Baggage Claim Etiquette

March 2nd, 2020 by

Hey Diane, I have a travel pet peeve and I am wondering if this is something you have tackled. I…

Who Pays on the First Date?

February 24th, 2020 by

Dear Diane, Who pays on the first date? I have recently joined the online dating world and I find myself…

Valentine’s Day Surprise Predicament

February 7th, 2020 by

Dear Diane, I am in a Valentine’s Day dilemma. I have planned a much-awaited reunion with three of my high…

The Etiquette of Hosting Family and Friends

August 9th, 2019 by

Dear Diane, I need your help! I’m hoping you can offer advice as to how to handle a situation I…

How to Be More Confident at Work

July 11th, 2019 by

Dear Diane, I recently came to the realization that I might be sabotaging my own career! If you were to…

How to Ask for a Raise

June 3rd, 2019 by

Dear Diane, My one year work anniversary is just around the corner (I have two months to go at the…

How to Ask for a Favor

May 22nd, 2019 by

Dear Diane, I recently graduated and have started my first job. My boss has scheduled me for a shift I…

How to Eat an Oyster

May 9th, 2019 by

Dear Diane, My wife and I recently relocated to the coast of South Carolina and are delighted at the array…

The Etiquette of AirPods

May 2nd, 2019 by

Dear Diane, My fiance recently surprised me with a pair of AirPods for my birthday. Now that I am wearing…

10 Ways to Make the Most of Your Lunch Break

April 22nd, 2019 by

Dear Diane, I’ve worked at my current job for six months and have fallen into the habit of eating lunch…

The Etiquette of Tipping Apps

April 12th, 2019 by

Hi Diane, I have a question I haven’t seen addressed anywhere yet and am hoping you can shed some light…

Business Etiquette: Building Resilience in the Face of Change

April 4th, 2019 by

Dear Diane, The CEO of my company recently announced an unanticipated restructure. While I like to pride myself on generally…

Putting the Spark Back in the Work Week

March 18th, 2019 by

Dear Diane, I recently landed a full-time position at an engineering firm that was in my top three choices when…

Enneagram Type 4: The Individualist

March 6th, 2019 by

Dear Diane, I would like your opinion on something. I recently found the Enneagram personality types and the information has…

Slack Etiquette Dilemma

February 25th, 2019 by

Dear Diane, My department made the switch to Slack for project communications several months ago, and overall, it’s been a…

Advice on Changing Careers

February 20th, 2019 by

Dear Diane, After ignoring my gut instinct for several years, I think I’m finally ready to pursue a new career….

Creating a Home Office That ‘Sparks Joy’

February 14th, 2019 by

Dear Diane, Like many others, I’m enthralled with the Netflix series Tidying Up with Marie Kondo. I’d like to channel…

Researching a Company’s Work Culture

February 6th, 2019 by

Dear Diane, I’ve been interviewing for new job opportunities in 2019 and am thankful to say I’ve received two solid…

When to Add Milk and Sugar to Your Cup of Tea

January 29th, 2019 by

Dear Diane, I have recently become fascinated with the tradition of tea, in great part because I enjoy reading your…

Brewing Loose Leaf Tea and Using a Tea Strainer

January 21st, 2019 by

I recently answered a reader question about Afternoon Tea etiquette in honor of National Hot Tea Month. Here’s another tea…

When Should You Remove Your Baseball Cap?

January 17th, 2019 by

Dear Diane, I work from home and often visit a nearby coffee shop for a midday pick-me-up and a change…

Afternoon Tea Etiquette

January 9th, 2019 by

Dear Diane, Lately, I’ve been feeling inspired to host my very first Afternoon Tea for a few close friends. Of…

How to Answer the Job Interview Question “Why Were You Fired?”

January 2nd, 2019 by

Dear Diane, I’m in the market for a new job opportunity after being unexpectedly let go from a startup. Their…

What to Do With an Unwanted Gift

December 27th, 2018 by

Dear Diane, My 91-year-old grandmother gave me a gold watch for Christmas last year. Sadly, I don’t like it and…

Regifting Etiquette: Is It Ever Okay?

December 17th, 2018 by

Dear Diane, I’ve always thought that regifting is fine as long as the item is newly wrapped and there is…

Holiday Hostess Gift Etiquette

December 12th, 2018 by

Dear Diane, I’ll be meeting my fiancé’s family for the first time over the holidays. I’m invited to their mountain…

Holiday Traditions: How to Change the Party Format

December 5th, 2018 by

Dear Diane, Having friends and family over for our annual Christmas movie marathon is a highlight of the season. My…

Awkward Holiday Moments: The Etiquette of Explaining a Break-Up

November 28th, 2018 by

Dear Diane, My longtime boyfriend and I recently parted ways; we realized that our goals were entirely different and we…

The Difference Between Dinner vs. Supper

November 21st, 2018 by

Dear Diane, I notice that some of my friends invite us over for “dinner” while others use the word “supper”…

Holiday Etiquette: How to Skip Dessert Without Offending Your Host

November 13th, 2018 by

Dear Diane, I’ve recently changed my eating habits and have experienced better health and finally gotten my weight under control. I…

4 Ways to Implement a No Phones Policy on Thanksgiving

November 9th, 2018 by

Dear Diane, I was wondering about your thoughts on cell phone use during dinner. (I think I can guess your…

How to Keep Your Halloween Party Civil and Not Scary

October 26th, 2018 by

Dear Diane,   This year I’m hosting my first Halloween party. I’ve hosted smaller events at my house in the…

Thank You Note Follow-Up Etiquette

October 25th, 2018 by

Dear Diane, I have a question regarding thank you notes. My grandmother passed away a week ago and my family…

How Do I Say “No” to Throwing an Expensive Baby Shower?

October 18th, 2018 by

Hello Diane,   A friend of mine is expecting a baby and I volunteered to throw her a baby shower….

How to Address an Invasion of Privacy on Social Media

October 11th, 2018 by

Dear Diane,   A friend of mine recently shared some of my personal information on social media without my consent….

How to Handle Your Boss Resigning

September 14th, 2018 by

Dear Diane,   My boss recently left and I am struggling with “what’s next” for me. His position has not…

Dealing With a Family Braggart

September 7th, 2018 by

Dear Diane,   I have a sister in law who consistently “toots her own horn” every time we get together…

Waiting Room Etiquette

August 29th, 2018 by

Dear Diane,   I have found myself in the midst of a medical situation which has caused me to make…

Afternoon Tea

August 16th, 2018 by

Dear Diane,   A group of friends are planning a baby shower tea party. We would like for it to…

Helping a Loved One Deal with Grief Around a Holiday

March 30th, 2018 by

While the holidays are typically joyous occasions, they can also bring sadness to those who are mourning a loss of…

Valentine’s Day “Love Note” Etiquette

February 10th, 2018 by

Dear Diane, I am at a loss. Valentine’s Day is around the corner and I want to send a special…

Slack Etiquette

August 15th, 2017 by

Dear Diane, My company just started using Slack and I’m having all sorts of anxiety! I’m learning how to use…

Interview Etiquette: Follow Up

August 11th, 2017 by

Dear Diane, I am a new college graduate and I am recently faced with going on multiple job interviews. Many…

Online Dating Etiquette

August 4th, 2017 by

Dear Diane, I’ve been considering online dating for a while, but I don’t feel prepared to take the plunge. It’s…

Dealing With a Coworker Who Wears Strong Perfume

July 27th, 2017 by

Dear Diane, I work closely with a colleague who wears very strong scented cologne. I go home with a headache every…

Hostess Gift Etiquette

July 21st, 2017 by

Dear Diane, I love to entertain and often invite people over to my apartment for dinner. I am always stumped…

Going Sleeveless in the Workplace

July 12th, 2017 by

Dear Diane, It’s hot outside and my  boss won’t let us wear anything sleeveless during the work day. Is it…

Housewarming Party Etiquette

July 7th, 2017 by

Dear Diane, My husband and I are moving into our first house and I’d like to throw a housewarming party….

Mother-In-Law Dilemma

June 30th, 2017 by

Dear Diane, My mother-in-law is recently divorced. She’s been spending a great deal of her free time going out with…

How To Effectively (and Politely) Work With a Home Contractor

June 23rd, 2017 by

Dear Diane, My husband says I’m too pushy when it comes to working with our contractor and his employees who…

Courtesy in Office Cubicles

June 16th, 2017 by

Dear Diane, I work in tight quarters and am looking for some ideas on how to maintain a productive work…

Staying Productive While Looking for a Job

June 9th, 2017 by

Dear Diane, I have been looking for a job since I graduated in December. I have yet to find a…

How to Dress at a Summer Wedding

June 2nd, 2017 by

Dear Diane, My brother is getting married on July 1st. There will be an outdoor ceremony and indoor reception. I…

Parking Etiquette: Anonymous Windshield Notes

May 24th, 2017 by

Dear Diane, I live in an apartment complex where we have assigned parking. My neighbor always parks too close on…

Asking for Time Off in the Summer

May 11th, 2017 by

Dear Diane, I’ve been with my job for a little less than a year and I would like to take…

Mother’s Day Gift for Daughters

May 9th, 2017 by

Dear Diane, I recently watched a television segment where you mention a Mother’s Day gift for daughters. Is this something…

Should Bridesmaids Wear White?

May 5th, 2017 by

Dear Diane, I have heard that the only person who can wear white to the wedding is the bride. I…

Properly Storing Your Winter Clothing

April 18th, 2017 by

Dear Diane,   Now that Spring is here it’s time to switch out my winter work clothing for lighter fabrics,…

Removing Shoes at House Parties

April 5th, 2017 by

Dear Diane,   I was recently invited to a house party. When I arrived, the host asked me to remove…

Leaving a First Impression that Leads to a Second Chance

March 29th, 2017 by

Dear Diane, I have always heard that first impressions matter. I am wondering how important they really are when it…

5 Traits of a Great Virtual Assistant

March 20th, 2017 by

Dear Diane, I am considering hiring an extra set of hands for my company. I have been told by many…

How to Write an Effective Cover Letter

March 9th, 2017 by

Dear Diane, I am interviewing for a new job and am finding it difficult to write a cover letter without…

Email Etiquette: How to Address Names in Emails

February 24th, 2017 by

Dear Diane, I recently received an email from someone who addressed me as Mr., when I am a female with…

How to Thrive in the World of Online Dating

February 16th, 2017 by

Dear Diane, I am 23, recently out of a two year relationship and looking to put myself back out there….

Helping a Friend Through a Breakup

February 3rd, 2017 by

Dear Diane, One of my best friends has been dating a guy for almost three years. They recently broke up…

Valentine’s Day Gifts for Him

January 18th, 2017 by

Dear Diane,   I’ve been dating a guy for almost three months, and I’m curious about Valentine’s Day which is…

Accepting Criticism

December 15th, 2016 by

Dear Diane, I recently started working for a company that offers an extensive training program. During the training, we were…

Wedding Gift Etiquette

March 31st, 2016 by

Dear Diane, After tying the knot several months ago, my husband and I are finally getting around to organizing the…

Easter Dining Etiquette: Gravy Boat Dilemma

March 25th, 2016 by

Dear Diane, Easter is in a few days, and I always get stumped when I serve gravy from my grandmother’s…

Office Etiquette: Why Can’t We Be Friends?

March 15th, 2016 by

Dear Diane, I was recently brought in to assist the accounting department for a large manufacturing business. Since joining the…

Wedding Etiquette: Can I Opt for a Cash Bar?

March 7th, 2016 by

Dear Diane, My fiancé and I are in the process of reviewing several catering options for our wedding this summer….

Formal Dress Attire: The Definition of Black Tie

February 5th, 2016 by

Dear Diane, My wife and I are excited to attend the annual spring business gala hosted by my legal firm….

Dinner Invitation Etiquette

January 29th, 2016 by

Dear Diane, We were recently invited to a longtime friend’s home for dinner. As soon as we arrived, we found…

Airplane Etiquette: How to Deal with a Talkative Seatmate

January 26th, 2016 by

Dear Diane, My job requires weekly travel, providing me with the opportunity to meet some very interesting people. During my…

Destination Wedding Etiquette

December 7th, 2015 by

  Dear Diane, Next spring, one of my friends is having a rustic country wedding at a scenic, California ranch….

Making a New Holiday Gift Giving Tradition

December 3rd, 2015 by

  Dear Diane, During the holidays, my siblings and I typically purchase presents for each other’s children. In the early years,…

Office Happy Hour Etiquette

December 2nd, 2015 by

Dear Diane, I am a part of a collaborative co-working space that has many perks. For instance, every Friday our…

Losing a Gift: Friendship Etiquette

November 11th, 2015 by

  Dear Diane, One of my friends, who does not have a lot of expendable cash, gave me a gorgeous…

Making a Career Change

October 29th, 2015 by

  Dear Diane, After a brief hiatus, I’m eager to jump back into a career in the tourism industry, but…

Social Media Etiquette – Your Online Image

October 26th, 2015 by

  Dear Diane, I have two children in college who spend a large part of their free time connected to social…

Travel Dilemma

October 19th, 2015 by

  Dear Diane, Six months ago, I agreed to attend a family reunion my sister is planning. When she asked me…

Interview Etiquette: Tattoos

October 14th, 2015 by

Dear Diane, As a recent college graduate, I am in the midst of the job search process. With an interview in…

Office Etiquette: What to Do When You Stain Your Clothes

October 5th, 2015 by

Dear Diane, Last month I was chosen to lead a team-building presentation for my entire department. While working through my…

Business Etiquette: When Colleagues Give You a Nickname

September 28th, 2015 by

Dear Diane, I have been trying to resolve an office predicament regarding my name. I began a new job several weeks ago…

Dining Etiquette: Splitting the Bill

September 21st, 2015 by

Dear Diane, Recently, a few friends of mine planned a weekend retreat in Chicago. Our local host recommended we visit…

Bathroom Etiquette

September 17th, 2015 by

Dear Diane, I need your to help settle a bet. Ever since my husband and I got married, we haven’t…

Baby Shower Etiquette

September 3rd, 2015 by

Dear Diane, My friend recently moved from Florida to California, and I will fly in for her baby shower. However,…

Dinner Party and Entertaining Etiquette

August 25th, 2015 by

Hello Diane, My wife and I are big on etiquette and entertaining and have made a real effort to include…

Dinner Party Etiquette

August 17th, 2015 by

Dear Diane, I recently attended a housewarming dinner party for one of my coworkers and had a wonderful time. I…

Business Attire Advice

August 10th, 2015 by

Dear Diane, I am a recent college graduate and find myself in new territory when it comes to putting together…

Baby Shower Etiquette

August 4th, 2015 by

Dear Diane, My son and his wife are expecting a baby and asked to use our home for their baby…

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