Dear Diane,
I recently received an email from someone who addressed me as Mr., when I am a female with a name that is admittedly a little confusing. It is clear she didn’t take the time, or cared enough, to do a little research before she fired off her note where she is asking me for a donation for a worthy nonprofit she represents. Should I tell her or just let it go?
Taylor M.
Dear Taylor,
There is nothing wrong with reaching out and politely correcting the person sending you the email. It also depends on whether you intend to follow up, or care enough yourself to continue the relationship in some fashion. Calling her out for the sake of frustration is probably not worth your time, nor is it good email etiquette. If you plan to contact her to make a donation or a connection, you can say something like, “Dear Susan, Thank you for your email. I would be happy to make a silent auction donation to your charity. A quick correction for your records, I am Ms. Taylor Healy, not Mr. Taylor Healy. I know you will want to correct your contact sheet for future correspondence.”
Here are 4 email etiquette tips when in doubt of how to address a recipient:
Determining how to address an email can be a minefield when it comes to gender-neutral names. Pat, Sammy, and even Joey can be confusing and can easily offend the receiver if you guess wrong. When you’re trying to make a good first impression, it’s important to get it right. So what do you do if you don’t know the person you’re emailing? Here are five tips to help you navigate a potentially embarrassing situation.
Never Assume Gender
You can’t assume that Taylor is a woman or that Elliot is a man. Reagan, Cooper, or Dylan might be a first name or a last name and belong to either sex. Your answer is as close as a simple check on the web. Start with the company website. If you’re contacting a company or a college, check their “about us” or faculty page. The person you need to email may have a profile picture.
You may also try LinkedIn but keep in mind they will know you are checking their site. Most professionals have a profile that can be easily accessed by a number of different outlets.
Once in a while, you may run across a person with no profile, or no photos available. Before you send the email, call the office and be honest. Explain the situation to the administrative assistant and ask for clarification. It’s a sign of respect to want to get the name correct on the correspondence.
Dear Sir or Madame?
Generic salutations were once considered perfectly acceptable, but today will be viewed as lazy and insulting. Consider what they convey to your recipient, that you didn’t even bother to learn their name. And you want this person to hire you, buy from you, or approve your application?
Miss, Mrs. or Ms.
The appropriate honorific in business for a woman is “Ms” unless she has a title such as Dr. or Professor. Avoid using anyone’s full name, such as, “Dear Mr. Taylor Smith.” It comes across as unsophisticated and thoughtless.
To Whom it May Concern
I call this greeting the “Kiss of Death.” Unless you are attempting to drive a customer away, avoid using this impersonal, overly formal generic greeting at all costs. I can’t think of any modern correspondence where “To Whom it May Concern” is appropriate. Even if you’re dashing off an angry letter to complain about terrible restaurant service, “Dear [restaurant name] Manager” would be a better choice.
After the subject line, your email greeting is the first chance you get to make an impression, so make it count. The right choice of salutation shows you did your homework, and will make a great first impression on your recipient. Proper email etiquette improves your chances of making that stellar first impression.
