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Ask the Etiquette Expert

Afternoon Tea Etiquette

By January 9, 2019No Comments

Dear Diane,
Lately, I’ve been feeling inspired to host my very first Afternoon Tea for a few close friends. Of course, I’ve seen inspirational setups on Pinterest and Instagram but was wondering if you’d share a few basics for those of us who are just getting started. I don’t know where to begin but I’m excited about the possibilities. If all goes well, I’d love to make it an annual tradition.
Thank you,
Courtney M.


Dear Courtney,
What a lovely idea and an experience you won’t regret. I’ve been both a host and a guest for Afternoon Tea with girlfriends over the years and always enjoy our time together. The following are a few basic tea etiquette tips and you can find more of my information in my blog post. I will instead focus on what items to pick up or repurpose for this special occasion.

Afternoon Tea Etiquette

Invitations

Part of the joy in hosting a tea is the luxury found in life’s simple pleasures. I’d recommend personally addressing and mailing out each invitation. Computer generated labels are functional but not befitting of a tea party. You have an assortment of invitations to choose from ranging from online options to a big box store where you can pick up your tea supplies.

Variety of Teas

There are several options when it comes to tea. As a review:

Green Tea is considered to be the healthiest of teas. It has a nice, mellow taste that encourages honey or sugar cubes.

Oolong Tea is a mild tea best served alone or with a small amount of sweetener.

Black Tea is strong and dark and welcomes sugar and lemon. Or, a generous drop of milk and sugar. Use whole milk or 2% – not half and half. Never add lemon and milk together as it will curdle.

Herbal Tea is not a tea at all, but a combination of herbs and infusions. It is also called a tisane.

Whether you choose to use loose leaf tea, or a tea bag, serve it in a delicate cup with a proportionally sized spoon. Don’t forget to set out a small piece of dishware or bowl on each setting for loose leaves and tea bags.

The Teapot

Brew the water in an electric pot or kettle. While you wait for your water to boil, pour some hot water from the tap, in your teapot, allowing it to warm. When the water in the kettle is hot, pour it in the tea pot, over the tea leaves and allow it to steep. Some people use a tea cozy to keep the pot warm.

Some teapots come with their own strainer and you can pour directly from the spout. Others require you to use a tea strainer on the mouth of the teacup when using loose tea.

Teacups, Saucers and Spoons

If you have a vintage tea set, now is the perfect time to bring it out. It’s always special when you have heirloom pieces, but visiting local antique and consignment shops to put your own set together can be a new memory that’s just as sweet. Mixing and matching can add to the charm.

A Pretty Table

Pull out your special linens or use pretty paper products to set your tea table.

What you will need for your table:

  • Small luncheon size plates
  • Dessert plates
  • Utensils for the food: fork, spoon, serving knife for butter and jam
  • Napkins
  • Sugar cubes, honey, cream (a.k.a. milk)
  • Tea strainer
  • Serving trays
  • Tiered trays

Foods to include:

  • Scones
  • Tea Sandwiches
  • Pastry and cake

A Parting Gift

When you say goodbye to your guests, hand them a beautifully wrapped box of a tea you served to remind them of the occasion. A box of sugar cubes, a bottle of honey or some other inexpensive memento will close the afternoon out with style.

For more tea etiquette, read my article on the Unspoken Rules of the Tea Table. Enoy!

Best,
Diane

Diane Gottsman

Author Diane Gottsman

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