Ask the Etiquette Expert
Etiquette Expert Diane Gottsman answers your most pressing etiquette and modern manners questions on this page. We take all etiquette questions into consideration, but due to volume not all questions can be addressed. Simply fill out the contact form and we’ll do our very best to answer it here for you.
Question: Hi Diane, I work with a woman who wears her earbuds all day and never takes them out. Knowing they are in her ears makes me feel like she is only “half listening” to me. Is it rude to keep your earbuds in while talking to someone? Answer: In Read More
Dear Diane, I was recently invited to an acquaintance's (a professional colleague’s) home for dinner. It was a lovely affair from start to finish, with the food catered and the backyard filled with beautiful lights and music for her guests to enjoy. I now feel like I should invite her Read More
Dear Diane, I am hosting Easter dinner this year, and my menu includes a dessert and a ham glaze which calls for nutmeg. A guest (my sister) requested I omit the spice simply out of fear of the word “nut.” What is the protocol of honoring her request? Nutmeg is Read More
Dear Diane, It’s been a “long hard minute” since I have seen the inside of my office and in a couple of weeks, the entire staff has been asked to return to work. The pandemic has taken its toll on me in more ways than one. I can’t imagine how Read More
Dear Diane, I have been working from home for the past eight months and I feel as if I have lost all of my energy and enthusiasm for my job. I have a great boss and I work at an incredible company. And I love the fact that I can Read More
Dear Diane, There are so many new social rules when it comes to spending time with people outside of my immediate family and I am totally confused as to what is appropriate when getting together with a few close friends. We are finally at a point where several of us Read More
Dear Diane, My fiancé and I have been engaged for two years and we are now planning our wedding—and money is currently a hot topic. We are having somewhat of a skirmish when it comes to the budget. I want a fairy tale ceremony and he wants something much more Read More
I am on summer break from college, and after a semester of online training due to COVID-19, I fear I am going to lose some of my edge... Read More
What is the first thing I should do if I need to cancel our wedding? Consult your wedding planner and let them navigate... Read More
Due to the coronavirus pandemic, all of my friends and I have found ourselves working from home... Read More
Do you have any ideas for avoiding loneliness while I am social distancing?... Read More
Dear Diane, Questions have come up around the designations in my email signature from time to time and I am wondering what best practice is. Should I add my degree or credentials to my email signature line? Thank you in advance for your help. Tonya Hello Tonya, That is a Read More
Hey Diane, I have a travel pet peeve and I am wondering if this is something you have tackled. I travel for business 80% of the time, and much of it consists of flying from one location to another. Besides the obvious irritants, I have noticed more and more people Read More
Dear Diane, Who pays on the first date? I have recently joined the online dating world and I find myself confused when it comes time to pay the bill. I have gone out with several potential partners but more often than not, when the check arrives at the table, they Read More
Dear Diane, I am in a Valentine's Day dilemma. I have planned a much-awaited reunion with three of my high school girlfriends. We are planning to get together and spend the weekend catching up. Not only have we not seen each other for 15 years, one of my girlfriends is Read More
Dear Diane, I need your help! I'm hoping you can offer advice as to how to handle a situation I find myself facing every year. This it is -- we live in Nags Head, NC. It's beautiful here on the Outer Banks! We're very blessed. So blessed, in fact, that Read More
Dear Diane, I recently came to the realization that I might be sabotaging my own career! If you were to ask my colleagues to describe me, most would say I’m “positive” or “helpful,” but what I would prefer to be known as is assertive and confident. I’ve been so focused Read More
Dear Diane, My one year work anniversary is just around the corner (I have two months to go at the time of this email). I would love your guidance on the best way to ask for a raise. Here’s what I have done so far in preparation: Save positive feedback Read More
Dear Diane, I recently graduated and have started my first job. My boss has scheduled me for a shift I am unable to work, and I am uncomfortable asking a peer to switch with me because I don’t know them very well. I don’t want to appear unreliable or look Read More
Dear Diane, My wife and I recently relocated to the coast of South Carolina and are delighted at the array of fresh seafood available. Before we work our way through the list of Conde Nast restaurant recommendations, we have a question. What is the proper way to eat an oyster? Read More
Dear Diane, My fiance recently surprised me with a pair of AirPods for my birthday. Now that I am wearing (and loving) them, I spot them everywhere I go. This leads me to my question: what is the etiquette of wearing AirPods, or any type of headphones for that matter, Read More
Dear Diane, I’ve worked at my current job for six months and have fallen into the habit of eating lunch at my desk on a regular basis. At first, it was necessary to power through lunch due to client deadlines. Now that I have gotten in the groove of the Read More
Hi Diane, I have a question I haven't seen addressed anywhere yet and am hoping you can shed some light on the topic (tipping when you don't carry money). I never have cash and have found myself in several different situations lately where I have had to skip a tip Read More
Dear Diane, The CEO of my company recently announced an unanticipated restructure. While I like to pride myself on generally being an optimist, I am feeling a bit overwhelmed by this curveball. Part of the reason I’m so anxious is the timing of the news; my wife and I are Read More
Dear Diane, I recently landed a full-time position at an engineering firm that was in my top three choices when I was finishing up school. I am extremely grateful for the opportunity to learn from some of the best in the industry. It’s an entry-level position, and I know I Read More
Dear Diane, I would like your opinion on something. I recently found the Enneagram personality types and the information has been illuminating in how I approach both my personal and professional relationships. I was introduced to this test by a good friend, and it’s been fun to connect with like-minded Read More
Dear Diane, My department made the switch to Slack for project communications several months ago, and overall, it’s been a good solution for our team. That said, I’m noticing the etiquette of using such a tool is somewhat ambiguous for a select few on our staff. One group contributes to Read More
Dear Diane, After ignoring my gut instinct for several years, I think I’m finally ready to pursue a new career. If I go ahead with the change, I’ll be leaving the world of pharmaceutical sales to earn my esthetician’s license. My goal is to open my own skincare studio. I’ve Read More
Dear Diane, Like many others, I’m enthralled with the Netflix series Tidying Up with Marie Kondo. I’d like to channel my inspiration into a worthwhile project, converting our spare bedroom into a home office. I work from home 2-3 days a week and find myself working from the kitchen island Read More
Dear Diane, I’ve been interviewing for new job opportunities in 2019 and am thankful to say I’ve received two solid offers. The position and pay are comparable, and both include work from home days. My biggest priority in choosing between the companies (and soon!) is the workplace environment/team morale. I Read More
Dear Diane, I have recently become fascinated with the tradition of tea, in great part because I enjoy reading your Tea Etiquette posts. I’ve collected some vintage tablecloths, ordered some lovely napkins online and asked my friends to consider giving me a special teacup whenever there is an occasion to Read More
I recently answered a reader question about Afternoon Tea etiquette in honor of National Hot Tea Month. Here's another tea tip for those interested in learning more about the art of tea. Dear Diane, One of my resolutions for the new year is to swap my beloved fair trade coffee for Read More
Dear Diane, I work from home and often visit a nearby coffee shop for a midday pick-me-up and a change of scenery. I'll usually throw on a baseball cap before running out the door. Should I remove my hat once I enter a business establishment? I'd love a refresher on Read More
Dear Diane, Lately, I’ve been feeling inspired to host my very first Afternoon Tea for a few close friends. Of course, I’ve seen inspirational setups on Pinterest and Instagram but was wondering if you’d share a few basics for those of us who are just getting started. I don’t know Read More
Dear Diane, I’m in the market for a new job opportunity after being unexpectedly let go from a startup. Their end of year numbers didn’t shape up as planned, and I was told I wasn’t a good fit for their new direction. How would you recommend I handle interview questions Read More
Dear Diane, My 91-year-old grandmother gave me a gold watch for Christmas last year. Sadly, I don’t like it and will never wear it and don’t want the responsibility of watching over a family heirloom which holds very little sentimental value. I have other pieces she has given me over Read More
Dear Diane, I’ve always thought that regifting is fine as long as the item is newly wrapped and there is no chance of the original gift giver knowing I’ve passed the present along. My best friend says it's a huge no-no. What is your expert opinion? Claire W. Dear Claire, Read More
Dear Diane, I’ll be meeting my fiancé’s family for the first time over the holidays. I’m invited to their mountain retreat for a Christmas Eve dinner and gift exchange. I’m excited to meet my future in-laws and would love some tips on how to make a good impression. I don’t Read More
Dear Diane, Having friends and family over for our annual Christmas movie marathon is a highlight of the season. My husband and I go all out with a tacky sweater competition, our favorite orange brandy hot chocolate and a gift wrapping station for friends who love to multitask. Typically, we Read More
Dear Diane, My longtime boyfriend and I recently parted ways; we realized that our goals were entirely different and we didn’t want to hold one another back from pursuing our interests any longer. I’m having a hard time preparing myself for the questions that may arise from family members around Read More
Dear Diane, I notice that some of my friends invite us over for “dinner” while others use the word “supper” when referring to the evening meal. Is there a difference? I want to make sure I’m using the correct term. Kate A. Dear Kate, When I was growing up in Read More
Dear Diane, I’ve recently changed my eating habits and have experienced better health and finally gotten my weight under control. I am nervous about my upcoming social engagements this holiday season. I have been invited to my boyfriend’s parents’ home for Thanksgiving. As excited as I am to finally meet them, I don’t Read More
Dear Diane, I was wondering about your thoughts on cell phone use during dinner. (I think I can guess your answer!) My sister’s kids bring their cell phones to the table at every holiday meal. They text and play games the whole time and barely make eye contact. We only Read More
Dear Diane, This year I’m hosting my first Halloween party. I’ve hosted smaller events at my house in the past, but this one will be a large scale production with a festive theme. I am focusing on adults only so we can have a short break from our sweet Read More
Dear Diane, I have a question regarding thank you notes. My grandmother passed away a week ago and my family and I have been overwhelmed with love, support and food from extended family and friends. Would it be appropriate to send a thank you by text? I plan to write Read More
Hello Diane, A friend of mine is expecting a baby and I volunteered to throw her a baby shower. While I’ve asked for her input to ensure the shower is to her liking, I’ve found she has taken over the planning and is requesting a more extravagant baby shower Read More
Dear Diane, A friend of mine recently shared some of my personal information on social media without my consent. My sister is ill and experiencing some health-related insurance issues. This friend was not privy to the information first hand but heard “through the grapevine” we needed financial assistance. She Read More
Dear Diane, My boss recently left and I am struggling with “what’s next” for me. His position has not been filled and I’m not sure if I should talk to my temporary supervisor. I also am confused about what happened and a little worried I may be next on Read More
Dear Diane, I have a sister in law who consistently “toots her own horn” every time we get together as a family. She can’t listen to a story without bringing the topic back around to herself. To make matters much worse, she brags shamelessly and creates an uncomfortable atmosphere Read More
Dear Diane, I have found myself in the midst of a medical situation which has caused me to make multiple doctor’s visits to several different physicians. One in particular always makes me wait for several excruciating hours in his waiting room before taking me back to the room. Then, Read More
Dear Diane, A group of friends are planning a baby shower tea party. We would like for it to be a special event and fear some of our friends will show up casually dressed. Is it appropriate or offensive to ask the guests to dress in a pretty dress Read More
While the holidays are typically joyous occasions, they can also bring sadness to those who are mourning a loss of a loved one. Easter can be particularly difficult as it is a holiday that celebrates life, renewal, and joy which can trigger feelings of loss and loneliness. If you know Read More
Dear Diane, I am at a loss. Valentine’s Day is around the corner and I want to send a special “love note” to someone near and dear. But, I don’t know where to begin. Any tips would be greatly appreciated. Mark C. Dear Mark, Writing a note is not Read More
If you're hosting Thanksgiving dinner this year, this table setting guide is a useful tool to help you set the table properly. View or download the Thanksgiving Table Guide here: . Read More
Thanksgiving is synonymous with heart and home. For those who are just starting out and establishing their own family traditions, it can feel overwhelming when wondering where to begin. Don’t get discouraged. Here are a few etiquette tips for hosting your first Thanksgiving meal. 1. Make a Thanksgiving Guest List Read More
While Thanksgiving is a ritual that often involves a combination of relatives, rich food, football, travel and mandatory family togetherness, Friendsgiving is, by definition, an alternative to the traditional holiday. It can be whatever you want it to be! The two main ingredients are great friends and good food. From there, make Read More
When planning a wedding budget, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed or get confused on who should get a tip. With so many vendors involved in helping you execute your perfect day, tipping for excellent service and exceptional work is a necessary part of your planning process. Use the guidelines below Read More
Dear Diane, My company just started using Slack and I’m having all sorts of anxiety! I’m learning how to use it technically but the etiquette seems really fuzzy. I’m not sure what the protocol is for communicating on Slack. Do you have any advice for me? Thanks in advance, Heather Read More
Dear Diane, I am a new college graduate and I am recently faced with going on multiple job interviews. Many of them have reached out to let me know I am not the candidate they finally selected. I am at a loss as to how to respond to a rejection Read More
Dear Diane, I've been considering online dating for a while, but I don't feel prepared to take the plunge. It's somewhat frightening new territory and I want to get it right the first time. Do you have any tips for me? Sierra Dear Sierra, The oft-maligned practice of online dating Read More
Dear Diane, I work closely with a colleague who wears very strong scented cologne. I go home with a headache every day. People complain about her but no one wants to hurt her feelings. She is friendly and efficient, but her pungent cologne overrides all of her good qualities. What do Read More
Dear Diane, I love to entertain and often invite people over to my apartment for dinner. I am always stumped when they bring me a hostess gift, not sure if I should open it in front of them or wait until later. Some friends insist I unwrap the gift but Read More
Dear Diane, It’s hot outside and my boss won’t let us wear anything sleeveless during the work day. Is it unreasonable? Julie R. Dear Julie, Recent headlines highlighted the annual office attire conundrum of the summer: how can you stay functional and cool while keeping your outfit solidly business casual? Read More
Dear Diane, My husband and I are moving into our first house and I'd like to throw a housewarming party. Is it appropriate to have a registry, so guests know our preferred colors and wishlist? Many thanks, Janet Dear Janet, Housewarming parties are a fun, exciting way to share your Read More
Dear Diane, My mother-in-law is recently divorced. She’s been spending a great deal of her free time going out with new friends from her meet-up groups. I'm happy she's happy, but my husband feels as if his mother has forgotten all about her grandchildren and us. He wants to confront the Read More
It finally happened! Uber has announced they are rolling out a new feature allowing passengers to tip their driver with an app. The app is already being used in a few cities (Seattle, Houston and Minneapolis), and will be available all over the U.S. by end of July 2017. Lyft, Read More
Diane Gottsman answers your vacation tipping questions. This segment aired on WOAI Channel 4 San Antonio Living. Read More
If you're a pet owner, you're likely on a first-name basis with your local groomer, particularly if you own a long-haired breed. A commonly asked question is: Do I tip the dog groomer? The short answer is yes, 15-20% of the final bill. Dog grooming is a service which requires Read More
Dear Diane, My husband says I’m too pushy when it comes to working with our contractor and his employees who are doing multiple updates on my home. I admit I tend to ask questions and worry things are not getting done as efficiently or timely as I would like. I’m Read More
Tipping can be confusing under the best of circumstances. Add air travel, hotel stays and ground transportation and you can end up feeling overwhelmed. Please keep in mind that gratuity etiquette varies among countries so it’s important to do your homework before you leave on your trip. Here is a Read More
Dear Diane, I work in tight quarters and am looking for some ideas on how to maintain a productive work environment. I am an arm’s length away from my coworkers at any given time. There is no privacy and I hear them talk and carry on about things I am Read More
Dear Diane, I have been looking for a job since I graduated in December. I have yet to find a position in my field and I’m getting discouraged. There are days I sit around and feel sorry for myself and I know I have to snap out of it. Is Read More
Dear Diane, My brother is getting married on July 1st. There will be an outdoor ceremony and indoor reception. I have attended many weddings before, and all were quite formal. My brother has not explicitly stated a preferred dress code, but says we should dress “nice.” I am baffled as Read More
Dear Diane, I live in an apartment complex where we have assigned parking. My neighbor always parks too close on the line, and sometimes over the line, by my parking spot. I’ve seen people leave notes on cars about bad parking jobs, but I don’t want any trouble with my Read More
Dear Diane, I've been with my job for a little less than a year and I would like to take some time off. There are other people with more seniority at my company and I hear them talking about their summer plans. This is my first job and I want to Read More
Dear Diane, I recently watched a television segment where you mention a Mother’s Day gift for daughters. Is this something new or have I been missing the boat for the past several years? My two grown daughters each have children of their own. Should I give them gifts? What do Read More
Dear Diane, I have heard that the only person who can wear white to the wedding is the bride. I am getting married next summer and would like my bridesmaids to wear white dresses. Will I be breaking a major wedding rule and committing a fashion faux pas? Joanna C. Read More
From overweight suitcases to oozing shampoo bottles, packing mishaps are common for many travelers. Whether you’re commuting for business, pleasure or both, a well-packed suitcase is an achievable goal. Read More
It can be tough to find your dream profession; millennials know this first hand. Young professionals finding their calling frequently treat jobs as a new outfit... Read More
Everyone knows the frustration of an overflowing inbox. Given the sheer volume of messages, most people simply can't read them all. As a result, many emails are never opened. If your messages are getting overlooked, here's how to make them stand out. Subject Line The majority of people will scroll past Read More
You have purchased the beautiful white dress and heels but suddenly your walk down the aisle has taken a detour. You may not be lacing up your running shoes and bolting from the church like Julia Roberts in "Runaway Bride," but you're no longer planning the fairytale wedding. At least Read More
Whether sailing the ocean blue or traveling to a distant land, a destination wedding may be in your future. Before rehearsing and exchanging vows, time, planning and effort must go into the event to arrange all the details satisfactorily. 1. Who's along for the adventure? When planning your guest list, Read More
Whether traveling to a distant country or cruising the ocean blue, a destination wedding may be in your future. Before the vows are rehearsed and exchanged, careful time, planning and effort must go into the event to make sure all of the details are arranged. The guests will rely on Read More
Dear Diane, Now that Spring is here it's time to switch out my winter work clothing for lighter fabrics, and I am wondering how to best store my sweaters, coats and wool garments. I live in a small apartment and space is always on the top of my mind. Read More
Planning your big wedding day is no small feat. Between selecting the perfect invitation to finding the right vendors, the lists are endless. There are so many things to think about and so many questions to ask. Here are some expert wedding etiquette tips on getting ready for your upcoming Read More
Dear Diane, I was recently invited to a house party. When I arrived, the host asked me to remove my shoes at the door. I felt uncomfortable and somewhat caught off guard. Is it proper etiquette for someone to make such a personal request? John P. Dear John, Read More
Dear Diane, I have always heard that first impressions matter. I am wondering how important they really are when it comes to leaving a lasting impact. I recently met someone at a function and feel I might have misjudged them. I have tried several times to reconnect and she won’t Read More
Dear Diane, I am considering hiring an extra set of hands for my company. I have been told by many of my business colleagues that a virtual assistant is the way to go for my particular needs. I don’t know the first thing about what to look for when considering Read More
Dear Diane, I am interviewing for a new job and am finding it difficult to write a cover letter without it sounding self-impressed or boastful. I know a good letter is a way to introduce myself and appeal to the employer. How do I get my point across in a Read More
Dear Diane, I recently received an email from someone who addressed me as Mr., when I am a female with a name that is admittedly a little confusing. It is clear she didn’t take the time, or cared enough, to do a little research before she fired off her note Read More
Dear Diane, I am 23, recently out of a two year relationship and looking to put myself back out there. I am head first into my career and don’t have time to go meet someone. Everyone keeps talking to me about online dating apps like Tinder, Bumble and Match, but Read More
Dear Diane, One of my best friends has been dating a guy for almost three years. They recently broke up and I am having a difficult time getting her out of her funk. I’ve tried taking her out for a night on the town and even helped decorate her new Read More
Dear Diane, I’ve been dating a guy for almost three months, and I’m curious about Valentine’s Day which is right around the corner. I’m at a loss as to what I should get him as a gift. We’ve agreed to date each other exclusively, but our relationship is still Read More
Dear Diane, I recently started working for a company that offers an extensive training program. During the training, we were given feedback from superiors. I understand how constructive criticism is intended to help, but I feel like my boss can be extra harsh. How do I handle this so early Read More
Dear Diane, After tying the knot several months ago, my husband and I are finally getting around to organizing the wedding gifts in our new apartment. We have limited space so are forced to “get rid of” a few items that we do not like or cannot use. What is Read More
Dear Diane, Easter is in a few days, and I always get stumped when I serve gravy from my grandmother’s gravy boat. It seems like it turns into a dripping mess by the time it gets passed around the table. Should I put a plate underneath? Do I offer a Read More
Dear Diane, I was recently brought in to assist the accounting department for a large manufacturing business. Since joining the team, I have noticed one of my colleagues isn’t so happy with this new change. Whenever I make suggestions or have questions about an existing plan, he is quick to Read More
Dear Diane, My fiancé and I are in the process of reviewing several catering options for our wedding this summer. We have decided on serving a buffet style dinner but haven’t been able to agree on how to approach the alcohol issue. I would prefer an open bar while my Read More
Dear Diane, My wife and I are excited to attend the annual spring business gala hosted by my legal firm. The invitation describes the event as a “Black Tie” affair, but most of my coworkers familiar with the gathering have assured me a tuxedo is not necessary. As a relatively Read More
Dear Diane, We were recently invited to a longtime friend's home for dinner. As soon as we arrived, we found ourselves being whisked off to a spur-of-the-moment dinner reservation instead. Since we were the guests, I felt certain our host would be paying for the meal. However, my husband was Read More
Dear Diane, My job requires weekly travel, providing me with the opportunity to meet some very interesting people. During my last business trip, I sat next to someone who quickly introduced themselves and did not stop talking the entire 3-hour flight. My hectic schedule does not afford me a lot Read More
Dear Diane, Next spring, one of my friends is having a rustic country wedding at a scenic, California ranch. I am delighted to attend and have carefully budgeted for the airfare from Boston to show my support. I’ve heard that if you are traveling out of state for a Read More
Dear Diane, During the holidays, my siblings and I typically purchase presents for each other’s children. In the early years, I could easily find small gifts that matched everyone’s interests and were within my budget; now that my nieces and nephews are getting older, it is becoming a little more Read More
Dear Diane, I am a part of a collaborative co-working space that has many perks. For instance, every Friday our community director coordinates a happy hour with light hors d'oeuvres and music. As a non-drinker, I often shy away from attending as I fear I will potentially make others feel uncomfortable. However, by Read More
Dear Diane, One of my friends, who does not have a lot of expendable cash, gave me a gorgeous pair of gloves right before I left to New York City for an internship program. Soon after I arrived, I left one of the gloves in a taxi during my Read More
Dear Diane, After a brief hiatus, I’m eager to jump back into a career in the tourism industry, but on a slightly different track. I am caring for an elderly parent and have been applying for part-time front desk positions instead of the more familiar management roles. What is Read More
Dear Diane, I have two children in college who spend a large part of their free time connected to social media. I understand and appreciate that the norms for interacting with their friends have evolved. However, I hope to inspire them to use the various platforms within reason and with sound Read More
Dear Diane, Six months ago, I agreed to attend a family reunion my sister is planning. When she asked me to participate, I had no other conflicting engagements. However, our office retreat has recently been scheduled at the same time. Not only is it important to attend from a professional standpoint, but it Read More
Dear Diane, As a recent college graduate, I am in the midst of the job search process. With an interview in the coming weeks at a reputable law firm, I have a concern. In college, I got multiple tattoos. They are not visible when I dress professionally, but I have been told that Read More
Dear Diane, Last month I was chosen to lead a team-building presentation for my entire department. While working through my nerves during lunch, I happened to spill tomato basil soup on my gray slacks! I rushed to the restroom to remove as much of the stain as possible without making Read More
Dear Diane, I have been trying to resolve an office predicament regarding my name. I began a new job several weeks ago and almost immediately others started calling me Alex, an abbreviated version of my name, Alexandra. My coworkers continued to introduce me as Alex, and now it has stuck. I prefer using my full name Read More
Dear Diane, Recently, a few friends of mine planned a weekend retreat in Chicago. Our local host recommended we visit a fun, upscale sushi restaurant to kick-off the festivities. Before we were able to browse the menu, she ordered multiple dishes for the group to share that I did not Read More
Dear Diane, I need your to help settle a bet. Ever since my husband and I got married, we haven’t been able to resolve the issue of whether or not the toilet paper should be folded under or over. It drives me nuts when he puts the roll with the Read More
Dear Diane, My friend recently moved from Florida to California, and I will fly in for her baby shower. However, she received what I believe to be bad advice from another friend regarding the guest list. She is planning to mail approximately 100 invitations knowing that the majority of the Read More
Hello Diane, My wife and I are big on etiquette and entertaining and have made a real effort to include a core group of friends in our monthly dinner parties. We treat our guests in a manner that we would like to be treated in return. While we are a Read More
Dear Diane, I recently attended a housewarming dinner party for one of my coworkers and had a wonderful time. I thought it appropriate to bring a bottle of wine and a homemade dessert for guests to snack on after our meal. As the event winded down, I noticed the wine Read More
Dear Diane, I am a recent college graduate and find myself in new territory when it comes to putting together my career wardrobe. I am not sure what pieces are most important to build around, or where to start. My budget is modest, but I want to look the part. Read More
Dear Diane, My son and his wife are expecting a baby and asked to use our home for their baby shower as we are centrally located with space to entertain. We happily agreed and let them know by text that our home can accommodate up to 35 people comfortably. They Read More
Dear Diane, I recently landed a job at a corporation that has been on the top of my list since my graduation. I successfully made it through the first and second interviews, and just finished my third in-person meeting with an executive associate. It has been two weeks since we Read More
Dear Diane, Every year I start to receive birthday cards and gifts from my family as early as one month ahead of time. I appreciate their thoughtfulness and always look forward to reading their birthday greetings. Is it polite to immediately call to say “Thank you” for the gifts, or Read More
Dear Diane, I am new to my company and recently attended an out of town business meeting with some colleagues from work. The few associates I knew were aware of my attendance, as well as my boss, but I was excluded from an invitation to join them for dinner. I Read More
Dear Diane, My father is 85 and unable to leave his house without requiring extensive effort to accommodate his wheelchair and health challenges. As much as my wife and I enjoys taking him out to eat, we’ve noticed that by the time we arrive at our destination, he is often tired Read More
Hi Diane, I interviewed last Tuesday with the HR Director of a University for a position in an academic department. The Director told me she would be conducting interviews the rest of the week and sending the names of qualified candidates, perhaps all of them, to the specific department chairperson. Read More
Dear Diane, I recently reconnected with a high school friend and we met over lunch to catch up on each other’s lives. Honestly, I was taken aback by her abrasive personality. I remembered her to be quiet and soft-spoken, but I found myself struggling as she interrupted me over and Read More
Dear Diane, I have an employee who is constantly late to work. On average, he arrives tardy to the office about 2 to 3 times per week. It’s hard for me to discipline him since he is one of my top performers, and he also opts to work later hours Read More
Dear Diane, With a career in sales and marketing, it’s standard to include my cell number on my business card (company policy). That said, I have a hard time managing client texts and much prefer they send the information over email instead. I find myself copying and pasting their messages Read More
Dear Diane, A close friend is expecting her first child and has asked me to kindly host her baby shower. While I’m honored she came to me with this request, I have deep concerns because I am a student and fear I won’t be able to afford the costs associated Read More
Dear Diane, Every year my friends and I plan at least one big trip and a few smaller outings together since we’re spread around the US and love staying in touch. Last week a friend in our circle unexpectedly was able to score incredible seats to the Kentucky Derby. Though Read More
Dear Diane, What is the rule of thumb when it comes to exchanging gifts between graduating seniors? My daughter was recently invited to a graduation party, and I’m not sure if I should encourage her to take a gift. We aren't planning a formal celebration in her honor and I don’t expect her friends Read More
Dear Diane, What is your take on sandals with hose? Our corporate policy states that sandals are allowed in the office, but hosiery is also mandatory. A few of my coworkers, let’s call them “seasoned” ladies, have come into the office wearing hosiery with their toes peeping out of the Read More
Dear Diane, What is the difference between a graduation invitation and a graduation announcement? I received a card from my nephew announcing his graduation, but it’s not even the end of the year. There was no formal “request” to attend so I’m confused. What does graduation etiquette call for? Do Read More
Dear Diane, My daughter is having a small, private wedding with only a few friends and family members invited. She would like to have a shower to celebrate her wedding with all of her friends. Is it okay to invite guests to a shower that aren’t on the wedding guest Read More
Dear Diane, I am currently interviewing for a job with a large company and am wondering about the protocol for meeting my interviewers for the first time. Specifically, I am confused about the difference between greeting a male and female interviewer. What is the proper way to greet a man Read More
Dear Diane, Is it too much to ask a houseguest to clean their hair out of the drain? After their stay, I was left with a stopped up pipe and had to call a plumber to resolve the issue. I hate to bring it up to my guest, but it Read More
Dear Diane, I was recently at a New York deli (visiting from a small town in Oregon) and ordered a simple BLT. It arrived with three layers of bacon and a tower of lettuce, tomatoes, and mayo. I was with friends, and we had a debate on whether I should use Read More
Dear Diane: Is it okay to exclude my friends’ husbands when sending out invitations to my daughter's wedding? Most of the husbands do not know my daughter and it would cut down on our expenses. LM Dear LM., I strongly recommend including the husbands or cutting down on the guest Read More
Dear Diane, My friend and I recently took a trip, each of us bringing our one daughter. She chose the hotel but asked me to use my credit card to make the reservation and pay for the tickets to the show we were attending the first night. I used my credit Read More
Dear Diane, I am getting married in a few months and have received several shower and early wedding presents. I am not sure if I should wait until after I am married to send the thank you notes on personalized stationary. Any suggestions? Thanks, RP Dear RP., Proper Thank You Read More
Dear Diane, I was invited to an event that didn't specify the dress code clearly. What is the true definition of “White Tie”? Thanks, CG Dear CG., Here is the definition of White Tie Etiquette for both men and women. I hope your event is not tonight! You may need time Read More
Dear Diane, My son is coming home from college and is bringing his girlfriend. I still have teens in the house and do not want them to stay in the same room. My son says if I refuse to let her stay with him they may not come home. What Read More
Dear Diane, My in-laws insist on giving my kids money instead of gifts. I think it's offensive and have voiced my opinion in the past but they continue to do it. Is it rude? N. Dear N., It's rare that someone is offended by the gift of money, especially in Read More
Dear Diane, Is it customary to tip my restaurant server additional gratuity because it’s the holiday season? I’m always so confused when it comes to holiday tipping etiquette. I. Dear I., If you have enjoyed good service throughout the year and he or she always welcomes you with a smile Read More
Dear Diane, My family consists of two small children and we spend every holiday shuttling from one house to another to make sure that no one gets their feelings hurt. What's the best way to change this pattern? -P. Dear P., Like the Nike ad says, "Just do it!” Let your Read More
Dear Diane, Do I have to give a present to everyone who gives one to me? I am having trouble deciding what the proper gift giving etiquette for this particular situation would be. I appreciate your advice. B. Dear B., It is not necessary to run out and get a Read More
Dear Diane, My brother is bringing his new girlfriend to my home on Christmas Eve. We generally all open our presents together since everyone has different places to go on Christmas Day. I’m not sure if it would be too forward to buy a gift for someone I have never Read More
Dear Diane, Today is Cyber Monday, the first day back after an extended Thanksgiving break. I can’t help but notice several of my colleagues are distracted on the internet ordering their holiday gifts on company time. Do I tattle or do the same? R. Dear R., Neither. It’s pretty obvious Read More
Dear Diane, I have a question about table settings. I am confused as to which side the soup spoon is placed on the table. Left or right? L. Dear L., I'm glad you brought this up as I have talked a great deal about table setting etiquette this holiday season. Now is the Read More
Dear Diane, I am getting ready to send out my business greeting cards in a couple of weeks and I am unsure as to where is the best place to send them. Do you suggest I send a business holiday card to the office or to the home of my Read More
Dear Diane, Should I email a thank you note after a job interview? Thank you, J Dear J, While I believe a handwritten thank you note is still an important part of the interview process, there is no doubt that an email after the interview is not only becoming a Read More
Dear Diane, I have a large group of single girlfriends and a wonderful boyfriend. We often get together for dinners and drinks. When my boyfriend enters the room, he greets my friends first by hugging and kissing each one before greeting me. During the dinner he tends to pay more Read More