Dear Diane,
I’ve always thought that regifting is fine as long as the item is newly wrapped and there is no chance of the original gift giver knowing I’ve passed the present along. My best friend says it’s a huge no-no. What is your expert opinion?
Claire W.
Dear Claire,
I tend to agree with your friend, especially in today’s world of social media sharing. You may think your Aunt Susan will never know you regifted the handmade scarf from last Christmas. That is, until the new recipient posts a selfie sporting the rainbow of yarn and tagging you with a heartfelt thanks. Given most people’s privacy settings, there’s a chance a family member will see the photo.
That said, a regift may be acceptable depending on the friendship and as long as you disclose the backstory. A good girlfriend of mine is a big fan of strong coffee, whereas I tend to gravitate more towards a warm cup of tea. When I received a 3 lb. bag of gourmet, fair trade coffee, I knew it was more than I’d use. The next time I saw my friend, I asked if she’d like the specialty beans and told her they were a gift I’d received that I thought she would enjoy. The important things to note here are both the relationship (we’ve known one another for years) and the openness regarding the regift.
A few more regifting pointers that I shared on Huffington Post:
Like what you’re regifting.
If you’re giving a gift you aren’t proud to give away, chances are the other person isn’t going to like it either. However, if the gift is new and something you know someone else would appreciate, feel free to pass it along.
Regift, re-wrap.
If after careful consideration you’ve decided to regift, make it special with new wrapping. After multiple handlings, the old wrapping will likely have a tattered and wrinkled look. Be sure to inspect the gift itself before wrapping, double checking for a name tag or gift card you may have missed.
Never regift anything that has meaning.
When someone takes extra time making or finding your gift, it’s polite to acknowledge the effort by holding on to it. Even if you’ll never wear the unsightly earmuffs your aunt made for you, it’s important to her and implies sentimental value.
Only regift new items.
Never re-gift anything that’s been used, damaged or worn. In simple terms, it’s tacky. It also demonstrates poor etiquette. Instead, if you’ve worn or used the gift and decide that it’s not for you, offer it to someone but not as an official “gift.” Just tell them that you initially received it as a gift and decided you didn’t need or want it and propose that they can have it. These types of offerings are always left unwrapped.
When in doubt, donate.
If you’re stuck with a gift you don’t love, but someone else may be able to use and enjoy, consider giving it to charity. In doing so, you’re not at risk of hurting anyone’s feelings and can still feel good about where the gift is going.
Be upfront about the nature of the gift and let the new recipient know it’s something you think he or she would like.
Sincerely,
Diane
You may also find Hostess Gift Etiquette helpful. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, visit her blog, read her posts on Inc., subscribe to her articles on Huff Post, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter. Buy her new book, Modern Etiquette for a Better Life.
