Dear Diane,
I am new to my company and recently attended an out of town business meeting with some colleagues from work. The few associates I knew were aware of my attendance, as well as my boss, but I was excluded from an invitation to join them for dinner. I ran into one of my workmates as I was leaving my meal, and she asked me what I was doing later. She shared that there was a fairly large group going out for drinks at the hotel bar and seemed a bit surprised I hadn’t been invited. What’s the etiquette here? Should I have just assumed I was included in the after hour plans and tagged along? With me being so new, I have to think it was more of an oversight than anything else.
Tom S.
Dear Tom,
Good for you for not interpreting this incident as a hurtful gesture. Of course, you’re wise in thinking it was probably a simple oversight. One workaround to avoid feeling left out at the next meeting is to take a proactive approach. Ask fellow coworkers if they have plans for dinner or other activities. The gathering may have started with a few associates and continued to grow by word of mouth. While you can’t assume you were included, its best not to take it personally.
But in the future, make contact with your teammates. Perhaps invite a few to meet for dinner, or plan an after hour happy hour. Most importantly, you will be more prepared and soon will feel more comfortable and confident when interacting with the team.
Good luck,
Diane
You may also like Traveling with Your Boss: The Etiquette of Planning Ahead for Success. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips read her posts on Inc., subscribe to her articles on HuffPost, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest, Instagram, and Twitter. Buy her new book, Modern Etiquette for a Better Life.
