Dear Diane,
The CEO of my company recently announced an unanticipated restructure. While I like to pride myself on generally being an optimist, I am feeling a bit overwhelmed by this curveball. Part of the reason I’m so anxious is the timing of the news; my wife and I are expecting our first child. What is your advice for pressing ahead and being more resilient no matter how things play out?
Sincerely,
Edward S.
Dear Edward,
First of all, a big “Congratulations” on your wife’s pregnancy. It’s understandable that you are feeling uncertain about your future with a major (joyful!) life event about to take place. The restructure could definitely lead to BIG changes and frazzled nerves, but there are ways to improve your mindset. I agree that resilience and flexibility are key to emotional well being.
The definition of resilience, according to Al Siebert, Ph.D.: “Highly resilient people are flexible, adapt to new circumstances quickly, and thrive in constant change. Most importantly, if they expect to bounce back and feel confident they will.” Being open to change will help in facing the challenges life brings.
Embrace Change
The brain can be trained to be more accepting of change. One way to do this is to try new skills outside of your comfort zone. This NBC News article uses the example of taking up knitting if you are a financial planner or learning a new language. The idea is to do something unexpected since the brain favors routine. Your confidence will improve as you continue to challenge yourself.
Be Adaptable
Take note of your current internal dialogue. When you get quiet and allow your mind to flow about your future at the company, are you jumping to the worst-case scenario? You may not realize the negative loop of thoughts in your head until you pause and listen. If you catch yourself thinking along these lines, acknowledge the thought and reframe. For example, “I’m feeling stressed about the changes at work, and that’s OK. At this moment, however, I am choosing to accept what may come and to trust that all will work out in the end.” Amy Morin writes about five ways to reframe negative self-talk on Inc.com.
Review Your Safety Net
We sometimes jump to a fear response when we haven’t stopped to map out a safety net. Explore the many different ways you could keep going if your position were eliminated. It may mean you’d need to dip into your emergency savings, ask a family member for help or take on a small loan as you seek employment elsewhere. Thanks to the gig economy, there are additional options for earning an income in the short-term or on the side. Knowing you have the resources to cover your monthly budget will benefit your peace of mind.
Look Forward to What’s Next
No matter your current level of optimism, it’s possible to move the needle towards the positive. In his Fast Company article, Harvey Deutschendorf states: “Successful people aren’t all optimists, but one trait many of them share is the ability to see opportunity in unlikely places.” A few tools he recommends: establishing a daily gratitude practice, focusing on goals and expectations and surrounding yourself with positive people.
I am confident the best is yet to come!
Cheering you on,
Diane
