Hello Diane,
A friend of mine is expecting a baby and I volunteered to throw her a baby shower. While I’ve asked for her input to ensure the shower is to her liking, I’ve found she has taken over the planning and is requesting a more extravagant baby shower than I had in mind. I know she is excited but this is getting out of control. I was prepared to throw her a lovely shower, but nothing as grandiose as she is suggesting. How do I politely ask her to tone down the party while still honoring her wishes for this celebration?
Frustrated,
Meredith J.
Dear Meredith,
You are a very sweet friend! It’s a generous offer to extend your time, energy and finances to host a baby shower for your friend. I am sure she is appreciative. You may have to gently “reel her in” a bit if her expectations are getting out of hand.
Communicate Costs
While this can be an awkward conversation, it is important to be upfront about how much you’re willing and able to spend on the shower. You can say something like, “Jenny, I would love to add a photo booth to your party, but my budget won’t support the additional expense.” Your honesty will help align the mom-to-be’s expectations with the stark reality of the real world. A good friend will understand your host limitations and honor your boundaries.
Consider A Co-Host(s)
If your friend is set on having an extravagant shower, you might suggest recruiting a few co-hosts to share in the expenses. It’s difficult to ask people to pitch in once you have begun to plan the party so think your decision carefully before committing to go it alone. Take a hard look at your budget, as well as the personality of the MOB before making any firm decision. In the long run, co-hosting takes the entire burden off of your shoulders and may significantly reduce your stress level.
Favors Not Required
It’s entirely up to you as a host if you would like to offer a small gift as a take-home reminder of the day. A sweet treat, wrapped in a pretty cellophane bag, is just as lovely as a high dollar item, given in an expensive gift box. Stay focused on why you are all gathered together. A baby is on the way, and your primary focus is honoring the MOB.
Sincerely,
Diane
