Dear Diane,
I have a question regarding thank you notes. My grandmother passed away a week ago and my family and I have been overwhelmed with love, support and food from extended family and friends. Would it be appropriate to send a thank you by text? I plan to write notes in the near future, but in the meantime, I feel a text would be a quick way to let everyone who has dropped by know my family appreciates their kindness. I don’t want to offend anyone by sending a text rather than a card, but right now I simply don’t have the energy or emotional strength to sit down and write. At this point, I’m not even sure who I should thank with a note.
Thank you in advance for your input.
Sincerely,
Mary C.
Hello Mary,
First of all, I would like to offer my condolences on the loss of your grandmother. I know you must be mourning her loss and I know it’s a painful experience. I am sure you have been comforted by all the care you have received by friends and family members. It sounds like you have a strong support system. While no one is expecting you to write a thank you note so soon, if you feel the need to reach out by text, by all means, do so. There is never anything wrong with acknowledging someone for their efforts. Try and get your handwritten thank you notes out within the month.
In the meantime, keep track of those who have reached out, or ask a friend for assistance in helping you organize a list. Acknowledging their support with a thank you note is a polite gesture and a handwritten note is the best way to express your appreciation for their efforts.
Regarding who should get a note, here is a brief list to help you devise a plan:
- Friends and family who dropped off food, sent flowers, donated money or offered their time (a neighbor who babysat your kids, a fellow mom who picked your kids up from school, a soccer coach who dropped your son off after practice)
- The clergy who presided at the funeral
- Pallbearers and ushers
- Musicians
- Nurses or doctors who were an integral part of your grandmothers care
- Funeral home staff who went above and beyond
- Anyone who made an extra effort to help out
A sample letter:
Dear Jonnie and Jessie,
I can’t thank you enough for getting my children back and forth to school the first week after my grandmother’s death. Your help was invaluable and allowed me the time to take care of important details regarding her funeral and burial. You both are wonderful neighbors and friends, I am very grateful for your love and support.
I look forward to sitting down and visiting with you in the near future. Thank you again.
Sincerely,
Mary
I hope this information helps as you continue your journey to healing. Best of luck to you.
Sincerely,
Diane
You may also like Thank You Note Etiquette Questions Answered. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips read her posts on Inc., subscribe to her articles on HuffPost, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest, Instagram, and Twitter. Buy her new book, Modern Etiquette for a Better Life.
