Dear Diane,
I am hosting Easter dinner this year, and my menu includes a dessert and a ham glaze which calls for nutmeg. A guest (my sister) requested I omit the spice simply out of fear of the word “nut.” What is the protocol of honoring her request? Nutmeg is not a nut, but actually a seed, and I feel she is being unreasonable.
Sincerely,
N.S.
Dear N.S.,
I’ve been cooking and baking for my family for years, and always have a dilemma when it comes to using nutmeg. My daughter, Emily Rose, is severely allergic to nuts and when it comes to following a recipe which calls for nutmeg, I always take a pause. Knowing intellectually that nutmeg is not a nut, doesn’t make it easier when I am including it in a recipe. It’s a trigger.
Admittedly, it’s a fear driven request, but, I GET IT. Living with a child who suffers with a severe allergy has not been easy on any of the family members, especially the child or adult. As a mom, have experienced some pretty scary mishaps, I completely understand the fear because we have been trained to be on high alert for anything that can potentially send our child to the ER. Knowing nutmeg is a seed, much like coconut is not considered a tree nut allergen, according to the FDA, can put one’s mind at ease, but for some, the trigger word is still there. It took me many years to get over my own particular phobia to the word, and I am empathetic to the mom, the host’s sister, who has a 6 year old child with a severe reaction to nuts.
As a host, if a guest politely requests omitting a spice or any other food request, it would be a courtesy to consider the ask. Omitting nutmeg from a glaze and using other items such as cinnamon, cardamon, cloves, and maple syrup to season a ham isn’t going to change the flavor. Omitting it from a dessert may alter it slightly, but not enough to change the taste, or hurt a relationship.
The bottom line is there is no right or wrong answer in terms of omitting the nutmeg. The question is a social dilemma. It’s important to ask yourself what the real issue may be. A sibling conflict, the control you are not willing to relinquish, the peace of mind of a mom and her child, an Easter memory, or the Easter ham. If it were me, I would say to skip the nutmeg.
Sincerely,
Diane
