Couples planning their wedding nuptials all over the world are experiencing the same emotional dilemma. For many, there is no choice but to postpone the event until another time due to the obvious issues associated with the coronavirus pandemic (travel, social distancing, health). Here are a few questions we have received.
Dear Diane,
What is the first thing I should do if I need to cancel our wedding?
Consult your wedding planner and let them navigate the conversations between the wedding vendors. Understand it’s not going to be a quick fix and you will have multiple conversations regarding deposits, future dates and moving forward.
Also, utilize your wedding website and keep people updated as things unfold.
What is the best way to let people know the wedding is off?
Put it on the website ASAP. It might be a given at this point, but guests still need to see it in writing. You can also send a printed card to each guest on the guestlist offering a quick explanation “due to the pandemic the wedding is postponed” and let them know a future date will be determined.
You might also want to cut and paste from the CDC website where it discusses mass gatherings and the recent updates. (At one point the CDC was saying summer was the target but things change every hour.)
Additionally, if it’s a close call and you have already waited too long, recruit friends and family, along with yourself to pick up the phone and personally call each guest.
How much information do I owe my guests since it is obvious we are in the midst of a pandemic?
Very little. Just let your guests know due to the circumstances that the wedding is postponed and a future date will be decided once things settle down. The goal is to get the word out and discuss the next steps at another time.
Should I pick another date now?
No, not yet. It is probably too soon to determine when the virus will peak and what the aftermath will entail. Selecting another date too quickly may result in another postponed event.
Do I offer to pay back the attendants for the bridal showers they have thrown for me?
No. Your wedding party understands the circumstances and are not expecting reimbursement. However, don’t expect them to throw you an entire series of parties when the wedding takes place in the future.
What do I do about all of the gifts I have already received?
The wedding is not “off”; it is postponed. Keep the gifts, preferably unopened for the time being, but DO consider sending out thank you notes. Say something like, “Brandon and I want to thank you for the mixer. We wanted you to know we have received it and will look forward to using it.”
Should I expect all of the guests who RSVP’d to be in attendance when the new date is chosen?
The fact is, many people’s lives will be different after this virus has taken its course. Some people may be affected by financial struggles that will prohibit them from large expenditures of time and money. Send out a new invitation but be understanding if some people must have a change of plans.
Should I start making future plans now?
Just make sure if you start inquiring now, to check the cancellation and refund policies. Invest in wedding insurance if it’s available.
Is it rude to offer to live stream my wedding if my elderly family cannot attend?
No, it’s not rude at all. It’s time to get creative and include as many people as you would like in whatever manner works best for all concerned.
Can we get married privately and then do it again when this pandemic is over? Will it be less special?
It will still be special. It’s a personal decision and you should do whatever works for you both!
