Dear Diane,
I’ve recently changed my eating habits and have experienced better health and finally gotten my weight under control. I am nervous about my upcoming social engagements this holiday season. I have been invited to my boyfriend’s parents’ home for Thanksgiving. As excited as I am to finally meet them, I don’t want to offend them by picking and choosing foods at their family feast. I especially would like to skip dessert, as sugar is one of my main restrictions. How can I appear gracious and still skip the carbs and sugar?
Thanks,
Bee W.
Dear Bee,
Congratulations on taking the journey towards a healthier lifestyle. Holidays are the hardest part of the year for those trying to cut back on sugar. I commend you for your efforts.
The first Thanksgiving meal with a significant other’s family can be nerve-wracking under the best of circumstances. The added stress of food restrictions can make for a tense experience. One way to take away an uncomfortable moment is to reach out personally and offer to bring a casserole or dish to the meal as a Thanksgiving contribution. If you’re traveling by air, you can stop at the grocery store and buy ingredients for a beautiful salad or a vegetable tray when you land.
It’s not necessary to put your restrictions on display unless you have an allergy which could cause serious harm. Eat the vegetables and turkey, and steer clear from large portions of the sweet potato casserole filled with brown sugar and marshmallow topping. Skip dessert but indulge in an after-dinner coffee while everyone else is eating so you feel less awkward. To ensure you’re polite, try the following:
Take a Bite
Your boyfriend’s family put time into preparing the meal, when possible, take a small taste as a courtesy unless you have a food allergy. You don’t want to be rude by refusing the host’s famous chutney dressing just because you dislike chutney. This is the time to try something new, in moderation. If you truly detest the dish or it is an absolute “no” for your healthy lifestyle, move on. You’re not obligated to put everything you are offered onto your plate.
Compliment the Meal
Be sure to let your host know how much you enjoyed the meal. Acknowledge the labor put into the feast and how well it turned out. Compliment specific flavors and spices. If any fruit is offered during the meal, take another helping at dessert rather than reaching for the slice of pecan or pumpkin pie.
Offer to Pitch In
This may be an opportune moment to offer help. However, some hosts will welcome your assistance while others may prefer you stay seated. Always follow the preference of your host.
Show Gratitude
Be tactful, grateful and kind to yourself this Thanksgiving. Indulge in foods which feed your soul and appreciate the special time spent with family and friends.
Sincerely,
Diane
You may also like Thanksgiving Entertaining Includes Choosing the Right Bird. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips read her posts on Inc., subscribe to her articles on Huff Post, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter. Buy her new book, Modern Etiquette for a Better Life.
