Dear Diane,
I’ve been dating a guy for almost three months, and I’m curious about Valentine’s Day which is right around the corner. I’m at a loss as to what I should get him as a gift. We’ve agreed to date each other exclusively, but our relationship is still brand new. He hasn’t given me any indicator that he is “head over heels with me,” although I’m quite taken with him.
I don’t want to go overboard, but I also don’t want to appear distant or detached. What kind of gift is appropriate for a fresh and growing relationship? I’d also like a dollar amount!
Thank you for your help,
Jenna
Dear Jenna,
The upside is Valentine’s Day is designed to celebrate with people we like, love, honor and respect. The downside is that it’s normal to feel trepidation when you aren’t sure where the romance will lead. Naturally, you want to think carefully before you purchase a gift. My advice is to keep it simple, thoughtful and straightforward.
With the relationship being so new, avoid buying a gift that comes across as needy, pushy or desperate. Steer clear of anything that signals you want too much, too soon. Offering him something too extravagant might scare him off and send the wrong message. You don’t want to seem clingy this early in the game!
A few gifts to steer away from is an expensive piece of jewelry, a picture frame with both of your names engraved on it, or a weekend getaway for two. If you hold me to a dollar amount, I suggest you keep it under $50. I don’t know your personal or financial situation, so it’s just a ballpark figure.
On the other hand, you don’t want to appear cheap and insensitive. Consider his interests and incorporate them into your present. If he’s into grilling, get him a monogrammed apron or a unique grilling gift basket. If he’s a sports fan, buy him a pair of tickets to a game. ($50 won’t get you front row and you may have to bring your binoculars, but it will still be fun!) If he’s the outdoorsy type, get him a small piece of camping gear.
And Jenna, what are you going to do if your boyfriend asks you for some hints to help him with your gift? Tell him! Give him a few ideas and let him do the rest. You don’t have to be specific, perhaps a dinner and a movie, or a box of chocolates and a bottle of wine.
Don’t expect a ring or an expensive piece of jewelry. Remember if all goes well, you’ll have plenty more Valentine’s Days to celebrate together.
You may also find my Valentine’s Day Etiquette blog helpful.
Best of luck,
Diane
