Dear Diane,
After tying the knot several months ago, my husband and I are finally getting around to organizing the wedding gifts in our new apartment. We have limited space so are forced to “get rid of” a few items that we do not like or cannot use. What is the best way to handle the extra gifts without hurting anyone’s feelings?
We were also given four of the same item and are not sure what to tell friends and family if they come over and mention the gift. Do we say we received multiple items and returned the rest for credit on our registry? And speaking of the registry, why do people choose not to follow it?
S. K.
Dear S. K.,
Congratulations on your recent wedding. I am sure it’s a challenge to find a place to fit all of the gifts when you are living in a small apartment. I will address your last two questions on wedding gift etiquette first.
Sometimes gift registries aren’t carefully monitored and the update(s) may not have been in the system. Other times, people opt to buy outside of the registry. Either way, it’s still a thoughtful gesture that they purchased a gift. If you have gifts that you absolutely dislike, or are certain you will never use, think about donating them. Consider donating to a charity that can sell them or use them in the community.
If you have multiple items and choose to re-gift, it’s not necessary to let the giver know. Re-gift with caution, however, making sure you feel the recipient would appreciate the gift and that there is a slim-to-none chance the original giver will find out. When you send your thank you notes, and I certainly hope they have gone out by now, don’t mention the duplicates. Thank them for their generosity and goodwill. Another option for multiples of the same gift is to take them to the store and return them for something you can use. If any of the gifts you received are heirlooms, it’s important to find a place for them, even if it is inconvenient. Bring the item(s) out when your friend or family member comes to visit.
Good luck,
Diane
