Dear Diane,
I was recently brought in to assist the accounting department for a large manufacturing business. Since joining the team, I have noticed one of my colleagues isn’t so happy with this new change. Whenever I make suggestions or have questions about an existing plan, he is quick to criticize or rule out my ideas altogether. Rather than trying to “one up” the other person, I think our team would benefit from leaders who are collaborating, not bickering. I could really use your help regarding how to best remedy this situation.
Thank you,
Erin
Dear Erin,
It seems as though your contributions are being undermined, whether intentionally or unintentionally, by your colleague. While you may not know the reasoning behind his actions, which could include insecurity or a resistance to change, there are a few steps you can take to better understand one another and move forward on the same page.
- Address the behavior in private. My first tip is to approach him one-on-one regarding his actions. Don’t make a scene in front of a group, but ask if you can talk after the meeting and mention that you notice a “theme” of your efforts being undermined. Give him the opportunity to correct his behavior.
- Ask your colleague to elaborate on his position. The next time he attempts to throw you under the bus, calmly respond: “Steve, it appears that you are not on board with this idea. What would you do differently and why?” You will find that most of the time the other person will have little or nothing to say.
- Take it to the top. Once you have experienced consistent undermining behavior, bring it to your supervisor in confidence and explain how you find their behavior distracting and not conducive to a team-friendly work environment. It’s now up to your boss to address the situation.
You may also find my recent article on The Huffington Post helpful: Workplace Dynamics: How to Be Personable Without Getting Too Personal
Best,
Diane
