Dear Diane,
My fiancé and I are in the process of reviewing several catering options for our wedding this summer. We have decided on serving a buffet style dinner but haven’t been able to agree on how to approach the alcohol issue. I would prefer an open bar while my fiancé believes a cash bar would be a better option to cut back on wedding expenses. What is your advice on asking guests to pay for their drinks?
Trinity C.
Dear Trinity,
Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials. Personally, I think a buffet is an excellent choice, and I am sure you will offer a fabulous menu without going over budget. I am not a proponent of cash bars. While I know it is becoming more common, asking your guests to attend a wedding, which includes purchasing a gift, potentially hiring a babysitter, buying a new outfit, and surrendering an entire evening, and then requesting they pay for their drinks doesn’t feel celebratory to me. I commend your fiancé for being financially prudent, but perhaps there are alternatives to consider.
- Place a time limit on the free-flowing booze. Don’t use top-shelf brands, but rather a less expensive alternative. At a pre-determined hour, close it down and switch to non-alcoholic options. With this arrangement, you will be able to offer what you can without fear of breaking the bank.
- Cut down the guest list. Doing so will help with rentals, food costs and liquor consumption. You’ll be less overwhelmed, and the tone of the gathering will feel lighter as an added bonus.
- Change the time of day. Instead of a grand affair in the evening hours, consider a luncheon or brunch wedding where liquor consumption is not as heavy. You don’t have to disclose why you selected an afternoon ceremony, and everyone will have just as wonderful a time.
- Go alcohol-free. Simply don’t serve it. It’s your special day, and you can decide to have great drinks that are fun, imaginative and non-alcoholic. Of course include coffee, smoothies and punch.
When it comes to special occasions, a cash bar is an unexpected guest! You want your friends and family to remember the moment favorably, not look back and complain about the associated costs of the fun.
Best wishes,
Diane
