Dear Diane,
My job requires weekly travel, providing me with the opportunity to meet some very interesting people. During my last business trip, I sat next to someone who quickly introduced themselves and did not stop talking the entire 3-hour flight. My hectic schedule does not afford me a lot of time to wind down, so I try and take advantage of whatever free time I can get. Since I did not want to appear rude, I gave this person my undivided attention as they filled me in on personal information I could have lived without knowing. How do I politely let someone know I am not interested in talking?
Richard K.
Dear Richard,
When you are in a confined space, such as an airplane, it’s not as easy as saying, “It was nice talking to you” and walking away. In most cases, you will shift over in your seat and begin to read a book while the other person remains right beside you. Nevertheless, spatial restrictions should not keep you captive. Use these tips as a guide the next time you encounter a Chatty Cathy or Charlie:
- Avoid asking open-ended questions. It doesn’t take long to notice when someone is predisposed to long-winded conversations. Guide the exchange by responding with a smile and a quick reply but do not continue to engage in the discussion. For instance, instead of asking, “How old was your dog Chester when he died?” reply, “I’m sorry you are dealing with Chester’s death.” What may feel uncomfortable at first will also be a lesson in taking control of your personal boundaries.
- Speak up. If a person is rambling, they may not likely pick up on social cues. Say something like, “If you would excuse me I am going to take this opportunity to catch up on my reading.” Give your neighbor a polite but firm reason you will be checking out.
- Actions speak louder than words. It won’t be difficult to make your point when you put in your earbuds and close your eyes. It is not your obligation to engage in a lengthy conversation with your seatmate. A combination of verbal signals reinforced with actions will make a clear statement.
It’s not impolite to smile, respond to your fellow traveler and then take control of your personal space – tight as it may be! You may also find my Travel Do’s and Don’ts helpful (via Celebrate Magazine).
Good luck and happy travels,
Diane
