Dear Diane,
Recently, a few friends of mine planned a weekend retreat in Chicago. Our local host recommended we visit a fun, upscale sushi restaurant to kick-off the festivities. Before we were able to browse the menu, she ordered multiple dishes for the group to share that I did not particularly care to eat. At this point, I was not concerned since I did not foresee having to help cover the cost of the items. Instead, I decided to order two appetizers as my main meal. When the evening came to a close, one of the guests suggested we split the check eight ways. I was hesitant to speak up but felt uneasy paying more than my fair share of their bill, plus the cost of my meal. How do I make sure I do not end up in this expensive predicament again?
Jackie M.
Dear Jackie,
This scenario happens all the time with the very best of intentions. Someone takes it upon themselves to order wine or food for the entire group without asking about particular tastes and preferences. If you do not speak up and set the precedence at the beginning of the meal, you can assume it will be split, regardless of what has been ordered. In your case, it was more frustrating as you did not enjoy the food your friend selected.
Consider this a lesson in “getting comfortable with discomfort.” In the future do not hesitate to voice your feelings in a friendly tone of voice. I assure you, others likely echo your concern and will be thankful for a spokesperson. The alternative is to decline a future dinner offer or discuss payment options in advance. You might say something like, “I would love to join you, but I would prefer to order and pay separately.” Your friends will not give it a second thought, and you will appreciate feeling free from worry over the unpredictable dinner tab.
Diane
