Dear Diane,
My friend recently moved from Florida to California, and I will fly in for her baby shower. However, she received what I believe to be bad advice from another friend regarding the guest list. She is planning to mail approximately 100 invitations knowing that the majority of the invitees will not be attending. This was based on the number of gifts she may receive if she opts for invitations over announcements. I believe invitations should be sent to those she thinks are likely to attend, with birth announcements going out to the rest. How do I tactfully convey my thoughts to the expectant mother?
Suzanne
Dear Suzanne,
First of all, it is kind of you to travel for your friend’s baby shower. I am sure she is appreciative of your efforts and friendship. You did not mention whether the mom-to-be asked for your advice regarding the invitations. If you are co-hosting the event, there is likely more room for you to voice your concern carefully. Conversely, if she asked for your involvement on the party list, you can suggest a different route, such as a separate birth announcement mailing. Based on your email, it seems that your friend is aware of the fact that most invitees will not attend, and the gift issue is part of her agenda.
By the same token, your input was not requested. Therefore, it may be a situation where you are served best by keeping your opinion to yourself. In the end, you must ultimately make the decision to speak up or remain silent.
Enjoy the shower and best of luck!
Diane
You may also like How Do I Say “No” to an Expensive Baby Shower? For more of Diane’s etiquette tips read her posts on Inc., subscribe to her articles on HuffPost, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest, Instagram, and Twitter. Buy her new book, Modern Etiquette for a Better Life.
