Hello Diane,
My wife and I are big on etiquette and entertaining and have made a real effort to include a core group of friends in our monthly dinner parties. We treat our guests in a manner that we would like to be treated in return. While we are a very close-knit group, I can’t help but notice that it is a rare occurrence for a guest to offer to bring a bottle of wine or a special dish. Our home is best suited for entertaining and we enjoy the company, but would like a little help in the process. Thanks for your advice.
J.R.
Dear J.R.,
This quandary is much simpler than you think…just ask them! Your friends obviously enjoy the monthly get-togethers and value the time they spend socializing at your house. As you are organizing your next dinner, let your guests know you will be changing the routine up a little. Request that everyone contribute by bringing their favorite bottle of wine, or a specialty menu item. Coordinate the food and drink so you won’t have too much of one and not the other.
A few other options to encourage participation:
- Indicate the next month’s gathering will be potluck style and you will provide the beverages.
- Create a special cook-off for lighthearted competition and participation. Most people love a good challenge! Chili, anyone?
- Pick a special flavor that suits the season, inviting guests to bring something with a key ingredient. Apple and pumpkin come to mind for the fall.
- Change up the theme. For example, host a wine and cheese tasting and ask a friend knowledgeable in wine to lead the event; attendees will handle the shopping list.
- Propose a cooking class where each person will bring their own ingredients to use for their creations. Ask the resident author to give a talk on her latest book release while others enjoy a potluck buffet.
Your dinner parties sound like great fun, and you are a good friend to host the monthly event.
Good luck,
Diane
You may also like Common Dinner Party Etiquette Mistakes. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips read her posts on Inc., subscribe to her articles on HuffPost, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest, Instagram, and Twitter. Buy her new book, Modern Etiquette for a Better Life.
