Dear Diane,
I recently attended a housewarming dinner party for one of my coworkers and had a wonderful time. I thought it appropriate to bring a bottle of wine and a homemade dessert for guests to snack on after our meal. As the event winded down, I noticed the wine I brought was unopened, and there were several large slices of my white chocolate cheesecake left. Is it customary to package both items up and take them back home after the party is over? Or, should you ask the hostess if she wants to keep them for her own enjoyment? I ended up leaving them behind to avoid any awkward conversation, but was unsure of the protocol. Thanks for your help.
Mary F.
Dear Mary,
It’s great to hear you arrived at the dinner party with a hostess gift. Of course, I’m sure guests loved your decadent dessert! With many options and lots to chat about, it’s not unusual to see plenty of leftovers after an informal gathering.
Unless your hostess specifically asked you to bring a bottle of wine to share at the table, it is considered a hostess gift. It’s a kind gesture so the host can enjoy it at a later date. Though it may be tempting to pack up your delicious cheesecake, it’s not appropriate to take home the leftovers. Of course, if she insists you take a couple of slices of the dessert, feel free to do so and treat yourself the next day!
Any item you bring to share at the party is considered a contribution to the event. Regardless, you should expect what you bring to the party to remain behind for the host. However, offer to take home your dishes if the host clearly lacks space for them. Be courteous, not pushy, in your offer.
Read my article, Dining Etiquette: Dinner Party Mistakes to Avoid, on HuffPost to help with any other dinner party questions you might have.
Best,
Diane
You may also like Ask The Etiquette Expert: Fall Party Etiquette. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips read her posts on Inc. Subscribe to her articles on HuffPost, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest, Instagram, and Twitter. Buy her new book, Modern Etiquette for a Better Life.
