Dear Diane,
What is the rule of thumb when it comes to exchanging gifts between graduating seniors? My daughter was recently invited to a graduation party, and I’m not sure if I should encourage her to take a gift. We aren’t planning a formal celebration in her honor and I don’t expect her friends will be stopping over to give her a gift unless we have an official party (which we aren’t). Also, do I have to match the price of a gift given with the amount of a gift that my daughter received? She was given a few things that are quite pricey and I don’t have that kind of money to spend.
Andi D.
Dear Andi D.,
I think the answer to your question heavily depends on the friendship your daughter has with the other graduate, and whether or not there is a strong connection. If they are close, you, of course, would want your daughter to gift something appropriate to honor and express congratulations. However, an invitation is not an obligation, and your budget and relationship to the graduate will dictate whether or not you ultimately buy a gift. That said, if you plan to attend the graduation specifically to see the graduate walk across the stage, a gift would be in order.
If your daughter will be attending the party, I’d recommend asking around to see what the other friends plan to do. If gifts are on the agenda, go in with a few others to give one gift. So many people will be having graduation parties within the same group of seniors and it’s not always necessary to take a gift. It boils down to a judgment call and the relationship one graduate shares with the other.
In regard to gift-giving in general, it’s not necessary to match a gift amount from someone who gave your daughter a more or less expensive gift. Always give what you can comfortably afford.
What an exciting time for everyone in the family! Congratulations on your daughter’s upcoming graduation.
Best,
Diane
You may also like Graduation Etiquette: Q & A. For more of Diane’s etiquette tips read her posts on Inc., subscribe to her articles on HuffPost, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest, Instagram, and Twitter. Buy her new book, Modern Etiquette for a Better Life.
